Agreements and Values

Agreements

  • We follow the Swiss law and do not permit any illegal activity in our space. Our minimum age is 18 years old.
  • Please refrain from consuming any alcoholic beverages or any other mind altering substances at our events. Alcohol consumption in moderation is tolerated in social settings such as meet and greets, play parties and presentations with no exercises. More info on the topic here.
  • Explicit decrimination as well as verbal or physical boundary violations will not be tolerated at our events and may lead to an immediate exclusion.
  • If you become a victim of or witness to a boundary violation, please discuss this with an organiser, even if you are unsure, whether the situation is “bad enough “. Please take your negative feelings seriously and discuss them with us!
  • Our safeword at all events and all times is Mayday. If you hear Mayday, please stop whatever is happening immediately. Usually Mayday means, that the person is having a medical emergency or that their consent is being violated. This can happen during a Play Session, in a regular interaction with a person or a workshop. Everybody in the room is asked to help the person calling Mayday to get out of the situation and into safety.
  • Our support word is “Pan-Pan”.
    Pan-Pan can be used to communicate discomfort or a bad feeling about a statement, an exercise, an interaction, group dynamic or person. Even without a clear consent violation, sometimes it is important to be heard and press the pause button. When we hear Pan-Pan, this means that you need support.The group or your partner is invited to lissen, let you speak and find out what kind of help you require. As facilitators and assistants we request you come to us to discuss these types of feelings. We will always treat your sharing confidentially.

 

 

Our requests
Wir haben die Intention ein konsensueller Raum zu sein, wo wir alle darin aktiv daran bestrebt sind einander zu ermächtigen, Raum zum sein geben, Zugang zu Wissen ermöglichen und eine Stimme schenken. Damit uns dies gelingt, brauchen wir Menschen mit Feingefühl, Mitgefühl und einem Grundverständnis über bestehende Machtstrukturen.
We are not seeking perfect people, we love diversity and acknowledge that this will sometimes lead to tension and discomfort.  A certain amount of self-awareness and education is required to make this space safer. We request that you strive towards the following:

 

Generosity

  • Be generous towards yourself by honoring your boundaries and taking care of yourself.
  • Please enter interactions with the assumption that everyone is trying their best.
  • Please be willing to communicate authentically, apologize if your actions have hurt somebody and please be willing to move forward in conflict situations, getting help if needed.
  • Please try to tolerate differences and that not everybody may share the same views as you or live in the same bubble. Please respect that all people are where they are at.

 

Community-awareness

  • Please enter our space with a mindset of curiosity and empathy. Creating a safe atmosphere and including everybody is a high priority.
  • Please use the names and pronouns given by the participants.
  • Confidentiality: Please do not share other people’s identities, names or experience outside the workshop without their explicit consent.
  • Please clean up after yourself in order to keep the spaces clean and enjoyable for everybody.
  • Sometimes it is easier to stand up for others than it is for yourself. Keep your eyes, ears and hearts open and ask questions if you feel like somebody is not doing well.
  • Please inform yourself about your privileges (see glossary)

 

Self-awareness & Self-responsibility

  • Please get an idea of how other people react to you, by talking to your friends and what your abilities and limitations are and can communicate these in interactions and in group settings. Our oversharing circle at the beginning of events gives you the opportunity to share your concerns, needs and things that may be helpful for others to know about you.
  • Strive to to feel your impulses and boundaries and communicate them.
  • Please be aware that your experiences, perceptions, thoughts, story, body, time and boundaries belong to you and that the same goes for other people; their experiences, perceptions, thoughts, stories, body, time and boundaries belong to them.
  • Please look into how you can regulate your nervous system when you get into a stressful situation and are able to look after yourself to make sure all of your needs for physical and psychological comfort are met and take action if they are not.
  • In conflict situations please strive to understand what your role is, what your triggers are and how to stay engaged and empathetic towards yourself and others.

 

Health & Hygiene

  • Please practice good hygiene. This looks different to different people, however our standards are clean and filed nails, clean hands and feet, brushed teeth, and regular showers
  • If you currently have a verified transmittable infection, please do not come to the event if it could be transferred by being in the same room as you.
  • If you have a transmittable infection that can be transferred via skin, please do not engage in touch exercises without letting the other know.
  • Please negotiate all sexual play in advance (see below).

 

Consent

Consent is an agreement about what may or may not happen and can contain the framework of a society, an event, or a personal interaction. Consent is established verbally and non-verbally, through laws, social norms and much more.

  • Please read and understand the terms in our Zwischenwelten Glossary so that we can enter between the worlds interact with each other on a shared basis of understanding. The glossary is not complete but is a communal work in process. Please contact us if something that is important to you is missing and if you have any questions or disagreements about it.
  • Opt-In / law of two feet: Every exercise and interaction is opt-in only. If you are in a situation you do not want to be in, physically moving away is enough. You are always free to move around and do not have to justify doing so. “No” is always welcome in our space.
  • If you decide to leave a workshop or event early, please do let the facilitators know.
  • Explicit verbal consent is required for play and exercises. Try to give the person asked space and time to decide to help enable an authentic response.
  • Nonverbal consent is needed for casual interactions such as conversations and sitting near each other. Please be aware of people’s personal space and body language when you interact with them socially if you are not sure whether your presence is welcome, ask.
  • If something or a person makes you uncomfortable and you are unwilling to interact with them or the situation for any reason, please inform a facilitator or assistant (Simply by approaching us or by using the Supportword Pan-Pan). Also, if you feel like somebody is avoiding you, come talk to us. This does not need to mean that anybody has done anything wrong. It is important to us to know about your discomfort, nonetheless

We understand that we live in a world where many people do not follow all the rules given to you. Spaces where we choose to experiment with human interactions like ours is different: We are very serious about all of these words and want you to honor them.

 

Negotiation Play
For any type of play or sexual encounters, we require that you make a verbal agreement . The following questions need to be answered:

  • How long will the play be?
  • Who will be doing, who will be done to?
  • Who is this for? (Person A, Person B, or both?)
  • What tools, types of touch and interactions will happen? What body parts will be touched, which will not be touched?
  • What is your intention of the play? Is it a favor, is it an experiment with the type of play or is it because you want to do this with me?
  • Which body parts will you be touching?
  • Is sexual engagement welcome?
  • Are we aware of the risks of this interaction?
  • Do I have any relationship agreements I need to disclose?
  • Do you have any physical or psychological limitations that I need to disclose?
  • Do I have any infections I need to disclose?
  • Do you know how you react in this type of play?
  • How empowered do you feel to stop the play? What kind of safewords, if any, do we want to use?

 

Consent is also an ongoing agreement . This means that an explicit yes is needed to initiate play and sexual touch, however impulses, desires and boundaries can change in any moment.

  • Do not upgrade! During play: if you verbally agreed on not touching certain body parts and not engaging in certain types of play, even if one or both parties change their mind, please finish or pause the play for an elaborate recalibration.
  • It is totally normal to think you want something and then change your mind. Stop the play if you no longer feel like you are profiting from the experience. If you are unsure, this is probably a sign that you should stop.
  • Use the safeword Mayday or the support word Pan-Pan at any point.

 

 

 

Sex | Intimacy | BDSM | Experimental Sexuality| Bodywork | Alternative Lifestyles | Spirituality